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March 24th, 2019
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AB-CD - Cut the Crap

back to AB-CD discography


Cut the CrapRelease by: RCA

AB-CD - Cut the Crap
The length can be different in the booklet, in the player and on the different disks.
1. White Moonshine Whiskey Maker


2. Mikey's Butt


3. Twelve Beers


4. Attack of the Perfumed Turd


5. Too Short to Be the King


6. Six Feet Down Below


7. MTV Recipe


8. Face-Lift Boogie


9. Bengus Handjob


10. Rock'n'Rolex


11. Elvis, Bugs And Oldies


White Moonshine Whiskey Maker
I like my bourbon, buy me a beer
I love a drink like a cow loves a steer
Mix me martinis, gin would be nice
No faggy olives, no fuckin' ice
Drank up money, pissed out my dough
Can't buy no bottle, no liquer store
Hey bartender, don't laugh at me
Screw you, I got mine

White moonshine whiskey maker
Back bubbelin' in the woods
Jelly jar of poison makes me feel
Real good
White moonshine whiskey maker
I'm makin' my witches brew
Just a drop of white lightnin'
Guaranteed to cure the blues

Hey Jonnie Walker, walkin' too fast
Too damn expensive, go kiss my ass
Hey Jack and Jimmie and turkey too
Got to be rich to go drinkin' with you
Good rot-gut whiskey, grain alcohol
Couple of drinks and you'll bounce off the wall
Cat urination, parfait damour
Screw you, I got mine
Mikey's Butt
Hey Casanova, you're lookin' good
Women get sticky and men get wood
Sing like a black man, you're so intense
Homo or hetero? Get off the fence
Yellin' and moanin' most everyplace
Your veins are poppin', red in the face
Make loads of money around the clock
You look just like a poodle
That's gone into shock

Mikey's butt's just like
Mikey's mouth
'Cause when they start to sing
Nasty things come out
You really stink things up and
You're gonna pay
Hey, I can smell your music a mile away

Got lots of groupies, they wait upstairs
They want to party, you want their hair
Deflated afro, look like a bug
Is that your hairdo or a persian rug?
Hey Mr. Cueball, can this be true
They say the devil's made deals with you
You're rich and famous,
Now you don't care
He knows your soul is empty
So he takes your hair
Twelve Beers
I need a girl and I need one bad
Don't want to be a doctor, brother
Priest or dad
I need a roll in the hay tonight
I need a girl to service me right (yes I do)

She ii be ugly, ugly, ugly
But eventually she'll be lovely, lovely
Even beautiful after twelve beers

Don't really care if she weighs a ton
I'm poundin' brewskies and I'm looking
For some fun (some nasty fun)
Yeah, she could smell like a donkys ass

Hey godzilla, put some beer in my glass
(Miss donky ass)

She is ugly...

Hey, roll around 'til I find a spot
My little bag of maggots,
You sure make me hot
This dirty dog's got a hairy back
Hey, don't stare at me, try on this sack
(Wooh, get back, jack)

She is ugly...

She is nasty, scary, awful
But eventually she'll be lovely, lovely
Even beautiful
After twelve beers
After twelve beers
After twelve beers
After twelve beers
Attack of the Perfumed Turd
Excuse me, haven't we met before
How' bout I buy us drinks?
Mind if I join you?
I'm Feces, hey Lemme guess your sign
I bet you're Capristrum,
Or what do they call it?
It's funny, I seldom go to bars
I guess it's destiny
This was just meant to be that you and me
Are written in the stars

Attack of the perfumed turd
Attack of the perfumed turd
Attack of the perfumed turd
Attackin'the ladies
Hey you better spread the word
Look out for the perfumed turd
Yeah, here comes the perfumed
Turd look out ladies

It's natural, I got this tan in greece
I've got a condo there in Barcelona
Love babies and butterflies and trees
Barry Banilow when he was a Beatle
My beemer's got seal and whale-skin seats
And I can go real fast. I'm a safe driver
I've got a nasty snake, although it's fake
Tattooed on my ass
Too Short to Be the King
Up in the tundra, the land of lakes
Got fuzzy weasels, got slimey snakes
Enchanted forest's got shiney discos
With squeaky three foot dancing midgits
One manly munchkin knew what to do
Move to the city and act real cool

He's too short, too short, too short
Too short to be the king
He's too short, too short
Stop whimpering you fucker!!!
Too short to be the king
To be the king...

Now all the ladies think you're a catch
You need a ladder to smell their snatch
They want your money,
You need their shoes
Hey, disco chicken's on the loose!
Passionate pigmy, so hot and bad
I bet my sister could kick your ass
Six Feet Down Below
So chic'n'nasty. She's a star around the world
All tits'n'assy, oh the icons of this girl
Hey all you homos,
Guess you found your patron saint
Can't sing, talk,
Act or dance and beautiful she ain't

How low can she go?
How low should she go?
Six feet down below I
Six feet down below!

Whatever happened to the nice young little
Girl soft porno leader of a
Leather, lesbo world
You're getting desperate
What's gonna happen after this?
With each new record, hey
Get a free glass of her piss
MTV Recipe
Take cup of lack-of-talent
Add a tag who's good in bed
Dude with big lips. Chick with big tits
Mix until they're dead
Sprinkle on some crappy lyrics
Add a really stupid name
Learn how to pose, ridiculous clothes
Voila' instant fame

You wanna be on MTV
Well here's the recipe
You wannabies on MTV
Follow the recipe

Take a huge bag of assholes
Add a couple pounds of shit
Some booze and cocaine,
Pretend you're insane
And steal some 50's hit
Make em think you're real pretentious
A serious poetic soul
You're dumb as a cow, you're famous,
But how?
I don't really know
Face-Lift Boogie
Hey all you ladies
Think it's time you got a life
Cheat mother nature
Lipo-suction and a knife
Your tits are hangin'
Ball and chain around your knees
Your ass is draggin'
Put some clothes on if you please

Short mini-dresses
Legs are looking like a birds
No plastic surgeon
Can pull a diamond out of a turd

Brand new you!
Young boys will get woodies!
That's true!
Do the face-lift boogie

Excuse me, granny
Little curious, that's all
Skin's like a condom
Wrapped around a bowling ball
Rich, senile husband
So the doctor's getting paid
No operation's gonna help
To get you laid

Brown bag of leather
Laying on the tanning bed
You better hurry
'Cause in a few years
You might be dead
Bengus Handjob
You were a dummy in school
You couldn't spell your name
You played guitar like a fool
Mr. Dangerous rocker I
Your greasy hair is all curled and colored
In your sisters pants, look like mother
You're such a clown

Rock'n'rolex - pure diamonds and gold
Rock'n'rolex - can barely lift up your arm
Rock'n'rolex - fastest gun in the west
Rock'n'rolex - wussy, wussy

With some miraculous luck
You made it to the top
Big, swollen, bare-cheasted duck
Misspronounceing Ferrari

You prance and pose
Just like Ritchie Blackmore
And your house is big as your ego
You're such a clown

Rock'n'rolex - you're a millionaire
Rock'n'rolex - but that was long ago
Rock'n'rolex - bad records don't sell
Rock'n'rolex - wussy, wussy
Rock'n'rolex - yeah the higher they go
Rock'n'rolex - the harder they're gonna fall
Rock n rolex come down
Off your throne
Rock'n'rolex - wussy, wussy
Elvis, Bugs And Oldies
They've been around since forever
They've been on road way too long
Do wheelchairs fit in Mercedes?
I heard the drummer's dated
Marlene Dietrich

Put them in a home
For Elvis, bugs and oldies
Put them in a home
For Deutsche dinosaurs
Someone shoot the horse
And Elvis, bugs and oldies
The centuries have taken course
The bugs have lost their sting

Teutonic bulls, out to pasture
Lederhosen, wigs, tired and old
That clown who sings looks like grandma
And isn't that guitarist Helmut Kohl???
Mats Leven (Mats Levén) - vocal
Bengt Ljungberger - guitar
Bjorn Pahlsson - guitar
Jim Gustavsson - bass guitar
Nicco Wallin - drums

The lyrics were typed by FaST.

Produced by Bjorn Pahlsson.

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English translations and spelling correction by vera dr, juliette, irina

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